Screwing in public: an ode to a lack of decency.

Okay worthless opinion time.
In the last week of working at my underpaying dead end retail job, I have seen a lot of disturbing things.
Most of these include old women waltzing around in underwear looking for the size of jeans that they want... Or older women standing in a fitting room, completely disrobed with the door wide open.
However... When I got to work today, and heard about the scandalous discovery made just minutes before my arrival, I was much more creeped out than any granny panty flaunting old bat could have made me.
Of all the things to do in a fitting room in a department store, why oh why would you screw there?
First of all, screwing in public is trashy.
Okay, we get that you're together, and you can't keep your hands off eachother... But if the good people of society woke up every morning, and said "Oh hot diggity, I think I want to see someone screw today!" the world would be a much different place.
Moral of the story, is that no one (unless they're major creepers) wants to be trying on a new pair of skinny jeans, and hear your naked writhing grossness in the next room over. I mean, is the thought of a filthy, dust bunny infested room where people go to get naked arousing, or are these people really such despicable nymphos that they can't hold off on their humping like rabbits for six seconds?
Either way, I can't see any situation in which this would have been fun, or pleasurable, and judging by their red faces, I'm fairly certain that the part of the act in which they were complained about for the noise, then caught by a manager, and asked to leave wasn't exactly the "climax" the fitting room fornicators were hoping for.
Serves them right.
Get a room next time you trash holes.

If this girl isn't the ultimate bad ass, I don't know who is.

During the annual "alligator harvest" in South Carolina (Don't even get me started on my opinion of hunting) a 16 year old girl affectionately called "Cammie" brought down a 10 foot long alligator, in the dead of night, with a cross bow.

Now okay, maybe it's just me, but this sounds like something out of a bad Chuck Norris joke.

When I was 16, the biggest thing I was doing in the dead of night was trying to negotiate a later curfew... And this chick is out slaughtering dinosaurs three times her size?

I have one word for it... Awesome.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090918/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_gator_hunting_girl;_ylt=Ao.Ki7qCxfStYmbJ3tGWOQTtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJ2NGtoZmh2BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwOTE4L3VzX29kZF9nYXRvcl9odW50aW5nX2dpcmwEcG9zAzEyBHNlYwN5bl9hcnRpY2xlX3N1bW1hcnlfbGlzdARzbGsDc2N0ZWVuYmFnczEw

Mayhaps severd hands make good fertilizer?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090918/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_buried_hand;_ylt=AptgS.5dK9p1IFVwwjwdG1_tiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJuMzZyMzl0BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwOTE4L3VzX29kZF9idXJpZWRfaGFuZARwb3MDNARzZWMDeW5fYXJ0aWNsZV9zdW1tYXJ5X2xpc3QEc2xrA2Z1bGxuYnNwc3Rvcg--

Something tells me that if I were doing some nice Sunday gardening, and I unearthed a severed hand in my yard, I'd be a little more than concerned.

Apparently no one is worried about the fact that this man found a severed hand in his back yard whilst digging around. They say that it was a "souvenir" the previous owner of the home picked up in med school 50 years ago...

Yeah... Okay... 'Cause apparently surgically removed hands are the new snowglobe. I'll be sure and remember that the next time I go on vacation.

Costco takes Lil' Monkey off the shelves. Big surprise there...

This news story needs very little commentary from me to bring the lulz.

http://www.wtvr.com/wtvr-costco-offensive-doll,0,5678687.story

What I can't believe is that not one person on Costco's development team said "Uh, you know guys, this could be construed as just the slightest bit racist and offensive... No biggie, just sayin'."

Either way, after numerous complaints from communities, and threats of boycotting Costco, they decided to get rid of the Lil Monkey doll which was released with its white counterpart, called Precious Panda.

The press release put out by Costco was the typical "our bad" statement. It was weak at best and basically just said Well... We thought people would like a black doll, but apparently not... Of course it was more eloquently (and legally) worded... But the gist was there.

At this point, they may as well have just given the little bundle of racial slur high tech pick pocket action, to make it even more racist and called it a day.

Teens booted from stadium for lack of patriotism... This is ridiculous.

I recently heard about this on the radio, and I think it's effing ridiculous, but judge for yourself.

Apparently three teenagers did not participate in standing up during "God Bless America" in the seventh inning stretch at a baseball game and were forcibly removed from the stadium on the order of the co-owner of the team. The three are now suing the team.

I'm all for patriotism, but is this really the country that we live in now, where it supersedes the freedoms that we hold in such high esteem? If someone holds their pride for the USA in a high regard and want to get up for the playing of a patriotic song, more power to them... However, I don't think that they should be able to take such public and aggressive action with someone that doesn't choose to do the same.

We as Americans have the right to make that decision for ourselves, and where I can understand that a gung-ho patriot may be offended at seeing these "disrespectful punks" as one report described them, not standing, I don't think that it was appropriate to have them removed from the stadium by security.

The thing that I also don't understand is the public outrage about this, while some take the same stance as me, and think that the treatment of these boys was a violation of their rights, and completely inappropriate, there are also yahoos (cranky war vets no doubt) who are leaving comments on news sites saying things like "I hope they are shamelessly harassed" Really? Are you serious? If you want to live in a country where patriotism is mandatory, and not a right of the people, then perhaps you should find a tyrannical dictatorship to get involved in...

As for me, the day that patriotism becomes completely mandatory in this country, I'm moving to Canada.

http://www.syracuse.com/today/index.ssf/2009/09/teenagers_sue_baseball_team_ov.html

Okay so I jumped on the band wagon.

Okay all, here it is, I'm finally committing to a blog.

I figure that I can kill two birds with one stone on this one, and I intend to do so.
This is my way to work on my internet writing, and get more involved in the news at the same time.
Great idea, no?
Well, I say yes, and unfortunately for you, this is my blog so the only opinion that matters is mine!
So, here is where I'll be dishing out almost heinous amounts of sarcasm and skeptisicm, with what I hope will be a bit of informativeness and insight sprinkled here and there.

Enjoy!